Thoughts over time.

Someone like you.

2011-10-18T06:44:00.000-07:00

2011-10-06T22:24:00.000-07:00

A strong woman works out everyday to keep her body in shape.
But a woman of strenghth builds relationships to keep her soul in shape.

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything.

But a woman of strength shows courage in midst of her fears.

A strong woman won't let anyone get the better of her.
But a woman of strength gives the best of herself to everyone.

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoid repeating them.

But a woman of strength realizes blessings through her mistakes and capitalizes on them.

A strong woman wears a look of confidence on her face.

But a woman of strength wears her grace.

A strong woman, has faith that she is strong enough for her journey.

But a woman of strength, holds faith that in her journey, she will become strong.

A lonely September.

2011-08-27T22:14:00.000-07:00

I have only managed to make changes on the tiny details this time round, like eating well, sleeping early and taking care of myself. I am still thinking as much as I always would but I feel different. I guess the fact that I have never put in so much of myself for anyone just makes it difficult for me to let go. Our memories together too, weighs so much of sentimental value and without doubt, he is the best I've ever had.

However, I am also trying to convince myself that probably we are not meant for each other. Our feelings were genuine while it lasted but what we cannot do, is to transform ourselves into who we aren't to stay together. Both of us are consciously aware of our silent unhappiness. I do not believe that I have given up, but instead, I feel that I have chose to resign to fate, than to anxiously hope that he will always be there for me at the end of the day.

I can only hope for his true happiness at this moment to keep myself sane. Deep down inside, I seek his forgiveness in many ways that I have hurt him but these words are left unspoken because too much have been said.

2011-08-18T12:48:00.000-07:00

I guess I deserve to fall sick for not taking good care of myself recently. Been dragging my hours at work just so that at least my energy is channeled into productivity instead of being taxed out on strenuous chains of thoughts. I did not put in much effort into solving the whole big ball of problems so I thought that if I could come up with a temporary cure, everything will fix itself.

"Learning things the hard way" started to make alot of sense when I woke up today, feeling very sick. I was still thinking of how I was gonna get myself to work to finish all that needed to be done until I closed my eyes and realized that things are not gonna work for me like this. I needed to get well, think straight, feel good and be happy.

On a brighter note, I've been finding reasons on why I'm worth loving. I find it quite funny to actually remind myself of the things I deserve, like a good rest, in this case for example. However, I am pretty sure that I'm in great need of a good, relaxing holiday where I can shop to make myself happy. These ongoing contradictions in my head are pretty taxing.

There's so much that needs to be done, so many things to think about and too much feelings involved but I have this tiny hope that things will get better, I always do.